Parenting and the Disciple
We all carry different experiences into parenting.
We all have different expectations of parenting.
We all land into parenting from different routes.
But sooner or later, we all reach this familiar point in our parenting journey: God, I can’t do this. God, help me, I don’t know what to do. God, I’ve reached the end of myself.
As disciples of Christ, we all have the same call. We are called to make disciples and as parents, we are the primary means God can use to draw our children to Him. I used to think that meant that my role as a parent was to be Jesus to my children, to be such a good role model that my kids would be drawn to Jesus as a result. I used to think that my job was to be a mini version of Jesus for my kids. What an insane weight of responsibility for anyone to carry!
We are not called to stand in for Jesus. We are not called to take His place in the lives of our children. We can however point to Jesus, to His saving work in our lives. We can live our lives as followers of Jesus in such a way that our children and those around us catch glimpses of the reality of a God who loves us unconditionally, a God who speaks, a God who hears, a God who saves, a God who forgives, a God who is outworking His plans for the world. So how does this look?
First and foremost, we need to remember that we are children of God. All our parenting flows from this understanding. We are accepted, loved, cared for and equipped by our Father for the task given to us. Our children are entrusted to us for a season but as children of God, we can use that time to point our children to our Father. And we are children who have been adopted into God’s family. This means we need each other, we need the wider church community and our children need to see others around them living out the call to be disciples.
Secondly, our primary resource for parenting has to be the Bible. As parents, we can spend our whole time looking for answers. How to feed, how to enable sleep, how to potty train, how to socialise, how to discipline. The list is endless. And with the internet and communication at our fingertips, it’s easy to look everywhere else first and then finally in desperation turn to God. Whilst the Bible will (sadly!) not directly answer questions relating to potty training and breastfeeding, we will find truths that will ground our priorities and our decision-making in His light and in the light of eternity.
Thirdly, we can’t do this without the Holy Spirit. The bottom line is found here: “Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts” (Zech 4v6). The call to make disciples in Matthew 28v20 is sealed with this amazing promise: “Surely, I am with you always”. We parent with the help and leading of the Holy Spirit, the one who knows the mind and heart of our children better than we ever will, the one who cares for our children immeasurably more than we ever will.
Yes, we all have different pasts and different paths but throughout our parenting journeys, and especially when we reach that point of desperately feeling out of our depth, we are reminded that we are all children of God, loved, accepted and secure, we have access to God’s Word and we are dependent on the Spirit of God.
Recommended resources:
The Parenting for Faith Course and website is full of encouraging, inspiring ideas and articles and on discipling our children: https://parentingforfaith.org
A national charity which aims to promote strong family life and to help those who face family difficulties: https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk
They have produced some excellent books: https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/product-category/parenting-resources/parenting-books
Focus on the Family: https://www.focusonthefamily.com
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp